Most of the many wonderful cats I have rescued over the years survived trauma before finding a peaceful home, whether forced to live on the streets, dumped at a shelter, left behind in an owner’s move, or was feral with kittens, all had traumatic experiences. But my beloved Morgan had to deal with more than most, because she was abandoned twice.
My role in her story began 17 years ago. At the time, all of my Saturday mornings were spent setting up and staffing a cat rescue adoption site at the Pet Food Express in Pleasant Hill. Before the cats were brought in by their foster parents, I would spend a couple of hours setting up tables, disinfecting cages, and putting up signage, adoption information and marketing materials. One unusual Saturday morning as I was in the midst of getting the site ready, a stranger walked up with a cat carrier. I was thinking, “boy this foster parent is showing up really early!” but this man didn’t act like a foster parent. He was instead agitated, aggressive and belligerent, and as soon as he saw me, he blurted out that his family no longer wanted “this cat” they had adopted from us two years ago. He complained she was shy, scared and terrified of his kids.
It turned out that his family had adopted two kittens from our non-profit organization Community Concern for Cats (CC4C), and they liked one but not the other (Morgan). I started to say we have a process for returning a cat, but he was in no mood to listen and loudly continued, “either take her now or she’ll go to the county shelter,” and that was that.
In her carrier Morgan acted extremely fearful—not the same cat that had been lovingly fostered and cared for until they were ready for adoption. Sadly, it became apparent that this man’s children had taunted and teased Morgan to catch her to such a degree that she was now deathly frightened of all humans, footsteps, noise, voices, and terrified by anybody approaching her.
With no other safe options, of course I took Morgan back to our house where she quickly learned we had no expectations or demands of her to behave or be a certain way, but that we would accept her exactly as she was, who she was, and how she was. As humans we all crave being accepted, wherever we are in our life journey, and it’s no different for a cat or dog. Having rescued many other traumatized cats before Morgan, all we wanted for each one was to feel safe, loved, happy and healthy. Morgan’s fear after being forced into the carrier, and having to go to unfamiliar and unknown places, was palpable. She had even soiled her own carrier, so I gently cleaned her up, and prepared a new “safe” room for her. It would take her some time to befriend the other cats in our home, who all had their own stories to tell her in time.
It took Morgan many years to come to trust us, let alone any other people visiting. Fortunately, in that time she could always count on two healthy meals a day, a peaceful and safe home, good feline friends, occasional treats, lots of love and pets, an annual checkup, and all of her medical and healthcare needs taken care of by the best team of veterinarians at Four Corners Veterinary Hospital in Concord. Life was good—a huge improvement from her first adopted home!
Morgan came to us at two years old and is leaving me at 19 years old. Over those incredible 17 years so much happened in life— career and job changes, remodeling a house, graduate school, years of cat rescue and fostering cats, running a demanding business, eventually a divorce, selling our beloved house, moving to a new condo, then moving again hours away to a strange new place where I started a whole new life. All the time I was re-inventing and transforming myself, just like Morgan had done. We were kindred spirits. Eventually, Morgan came to sleep with me every night, patiently waiting until the moment I finally rested my head on the pillow, and in that moment, she would gently curl herself around my head and begin to purr. Her contented purr would comfort me all night long.
I can’t imagine that one fateful day working out any differently, where destiny united Morgan and me in a unique and unbreakable bond. I can’t imagine a past not knowing Morgan or not having Morgan in my life. She has been my little rock, always there to provide her warmth and support through all of life’s challenges and changes, showing me that fear can be overcome with love. When we face our deepest fears and do what we are afraid of, we transform ourselves. We become what we didn’t think was possible.
Morgan’s chronic diseases are overcoming her now. She is losing the battle with her chronic kidney disease (CKD) and Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) that have been present for the past 3-4 years. For the past two years, I have routinely given Morgan sub-Q fluids every week, B12 injections bi-weekly, Purina Hydra packets daily increasing her hydration levels, a special novel protein diet daily, and blood tests every six months to keep track of her blood chemistry panel. But now, the time has come—her body is feeble, fragile and frail. Age and disease have taken their toll. Solace lies in the fact that my care has kept her comfortable, pain-free, and living a long, good quality life without suffering.
Grieving can happen long before death, when you know that your pet or person is dying. You grieve for them along the way, knowing the inevitable is fast approaching. I have been grieving Morgan’s eventual death this past year, knowing the time was close. I feel she has lived well this past year of her life. I wouldn’t change a thing, except to have her with me longer.
Morgan, I have been blessed to have you in my life. You have been a wonderful, loving friend for so many years. Thank you for sharing your beautiful soul and life with me for so many years. I’m forever grateful for knowing you and loving you. However, it’s time to bid adieu for now, until we reunite on the other side of the rainbow bridge for a joyous homecoming. Yours forever Morgan ~ Jennie
